Originally written December 23, 2016

I’m truthfully not sure what happened to Kevin Smith over the years. This famous director had such humble beginnings, making his debut movie Clerks on a very small budget and achieving massive critical acclaim through its simplistic style and pure ingenuity. I consider there to be three phases of Kevin Smith movies. Phase 1 was his View Askewniverse, where he made a bunch of really funny and sometimes insightful comedies that all took place in the same universe and included the characters of Jay and Silent Bob recurring through all of the movies. Phase 2 is when he started to just make random movies not part of the universe. Some of these movies were really good (like Zack and Miri Make a Porno) while others were pretty bad (like Cop Out), so this phase was a mixed bag. And now we’re in Phase 3, which basically feels like a completely different tone. It seems like Kevin Smith is mainly only interested in making B-movies that he finds to be funny now, so that’s where we’re at.

This trend started with 2014’s movie Tusk, which centered around a man being turned into a walrus. This movie was said to be the first of a “trilogy,” where we would have three movies that took place in the same universe in Canada. Now we arrive in the second movie, Yoga Hosers, which centers around the two convenience store clerks that were seen in Tusk. These two teenage girls are best friends that are both named Colleen, and they’re stuck working at a convenience store one Friday night when all they want to do is go to the party they were invited to. However, their night soon takes a turn for the worse when some miniature Nazis (which are referred to as Brahtzis) that have lived under the store since World War II come out of hiding and attack the girls. The two girls must use their yoga techniques and team up with a legendary man-hunter to take down the evil presence.

The plot is clearly meant to be ridiculous, and so in a way B-movies almost aren’t supposed to be judged in the same way as other movies. The thing with a movie like Yoga Hosers, though, is that it’s shot in such a serious way that a lot of times it feels like it’s taking itself seriously. So I feel like there’s this conflicted tone, and so while I wouldn’t have a problem judging the movie as just a B-movie, a lot of times it feels like it’s shooting for a serious movie. Another thing with B-movies is that they’re supposed to make you laugh with how ridiculous they are, and I just have to say that the movie was very hit or miss. There were parts that I thought were completely stupid, and others that I was genuinely laughing. I think the best parts are the scenes with Justin Long and Johnny Depp. Justin Long plays the yoga instructor for the girls, and he’s easily the funniest character in the movie. Johnny Depp plays the man-hunter, and his lines can be hit or miss too, but there are some really funny moments with him.

Honestly, a big problem unfortunately lies with the two leads, and this leads to a controversial issue with movies. Basically, the two main girls are played by Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp, who are the daughters of Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp, respectively. The two girls are really good friends in real life, and so it’s apparent that the movie was made so that they could be in a movie. On one hand this kind of thing can tell you that a person only got a part in a movie because of who they know, but on the other hand I could see why you would want to have your daughter in a movie if you had the necessary means. Unfortunately, neither of the two are very good. I’m willing to cut some slack because they’re still relative newcomers to acting though. Lily-Rose Depp actually shows some promise in certain scenes, so I think that if she kept practicing at the craft she could potentially become a good actress. I don’t want to sound mean, but something about Harley Quinn Smith’s voice just went through me, so I wasn’t really a big fan of her. I think that with practice anyone can improve at a craft, but I’m just saying that currently it looks like Lily-Rose has more promise.

Overall, this is just a movie I’m conflicted on. I felt the same way about Tusk though, so it isn’t a big surprise. It’s just kind of weird seeing Kevin Smith’s film career go down this path when he was once such a great filmmaker. At the end of the day though, I watch most Kevin Smith movies to laugh, and so if I’m judging the movie on those merits, I just didn’t find it to be all that funny. It’s pretty entertaining in some parts, so I don’t want to completely write it off, but this definitely isn’t one of Kevin Smith’s bests.

2.5/5